Question 1
I am 19 years old and being set up for an arranged marriage with a cousin. He has good qualities, but I don’t find him attractive and worry about our age difference. I fear I might not be happy in the marriage or able to stay committed mentally, even if I don’t act on those feelings. Am I wrong to base my decision on attraction, and would it be foolish to think I might have better chances to find someone else since I am still young?
Answer 1
Question 2
I am a 3rd-year engineering student, and my parents have arranged my marriage with my cousin. When I found out, I contacted her, and she said she does not like this arrangement and considers me like an older brother. However, she also said she would accept it if her parents insist. I want to follow Islam and make the right decision. Is it permissible for me to marry her, considering her initial response and my family's expectations?
Answer 2
Question 3
I am a young woman who would really like to get married, but my parents do not believe in arranged marriages. How should I explain to them that this is their obligation?
Answer 3
Question 4
What is the Islamic view on marriage? I found from research that Allah has created a soulmate (naseeb) for everyone, and that the person destined for you is your soulmate. I also found that mixed-race relationships are permissible as long as the person is Muslim, and that skin color doesn't matter. However, my dad tells me that Islamically we are supposed to have an arranged marriage and that the person must be of our own kind. I haven't found Islamic evidence to support this, and I feel this might be culture/tradition rather than religion. Can you provide some answers, hadiths, or Islamic literature to help me with this issue and possibly show my dad?
Answer 4
Question 5
I am a woman who was recently in an arranged marriage. My husband's side did not allow me to talk to him before the wedding, and I only had a 10-minute conversation with him. I raised concerns over my husband not talking much before the wedding, but my parents chose to ignore this. A few days into the marriage, I discovered that my husband suffers from a mental health condition called schizophrenia. I was very upset that this was hidden from me and also my family. This explained a lot of initial difficulties I had with him, although I started to care for him a lot. I was worried that he may have another manic episode, which would make life difficult for our marriage. He is currently on medication every day for this. I have decided to end our marriage because of all his symptoms and my worry for this getting worse in the future. I was with him for a few weeks, and the marriage was not consummated because we were getting to know each other. I have since come home and prayed istikhara to see if I should go back to my husband. I have seen that I was being attacked by a wasp, the house was on fire, and there were a lot of scary people and creatures waiting outside to attack me and my family. I don’t know what these dreams mean. I have decided not to go back to my husband. However, at times my heart longs for him, and I find it difficult to think of marrying other men. I am so confused. I know that I cared for him a lot, but I worry about the difficulty his condition will have on our future as it is something no one told me about. A lot of people ask me to go back and give it a try, but I cannot make his condition better. The issues for the future will still be there, and I don’t want to consummate the marriage if we may end it again. Please give me your thoughts. Am I in the wrong for wanting to leave? Will these feelings for care and love go away? I started to feel like his caregiver and became overprotective of him and his condition.
Answer 5
Question 6
My name is Hasan. I am a 30-year-old male from Bangladesh and a Sunni Muslim.
I married two months ago, and I had known my wife (Her name is Ferdousi) for the last 3 years. She was raised in a stepmother’s family, and her father passed away at an early age.
Her stepmother used to exploit her. A local influential and rich person (His name is Shamim) saw her at an early age and bribed her stepmother with a lot of money to arrange a marriage with Ferdousi. However, Shamim already had a wife and children. Ferdousi used to hate Shamim, but due to Shamim’s wealth and influence, nothing could be done against him.
With this situation, Ferdousi and I decided to get married in July 2018 without informing her stepmother because we were afraid of Shamim’s threats. After one month of marriage, I came abroad in August 2018 for my PhD and left her in the country. As soon as Shamim and her stepmother knew about our marriage, they became violent and tortured her.
Now, Shamim has managed to control the local law with bribes, and I am a poor man without any family support to take lawful action against him. Since September 2018, Shamim has threatened Ferdousi to divorce me and marry him (although he is already married). If she did not comply, Shamim would file false lawsuits against me and my family, using fabricated evidence bought by money, and start to harass me.
Feeling afraid, my wife submitted to Shamim’s conditions. She signed a divorce paper for our marriage on 27th September 2018, but she did so out of fear, not from the heart. I never uttered any word of divorce to her.
Now, Shamim will marry my wife in a week, although it is mandatory to wait three months after divorce. But Shamim will not wait.
My wife told me that this marriage with Shamim is against her will, and she will only utter "Kobul" (acceptance word) during the marriage with Shamim, while remembering my name and face in her heart.
Later, I and my wife have planned that after 3 or 4 years, when I complete my PhD, get a job, and improve my social and economic position, I will fight against Shamim and reunite with her, at which point she will divorce Shamim in court.
Since I am still a student without the necessary social standing and money, I cannot fight against Shamim right now, so I accepted my wife’s proposal and consoled her. In our hearts, we have decided to keep patience and reunite later.
My questions are:
1. Since my wife is forced to marry Shamim, is it a valid marriage?
2. Since my wife merely signed the divorce paper out of force from Shamim, will it be a valid Islamic divorce in the eyes of Allah?
3. My wife has asked me to keep in touch with her and call her sometimes after she marries Shamim. Will this be lawful in the eyes of Islam?
We both are victims of oppression by a rich, influential person who buys the law with money. The law system in our country is corrupt, and it is useless to fight against him with bare hands.
So, please provide answers to these three questions.
Answer 6
Question 7
From what I have read on another website, a father can forcefully arrange his daughter’s marriage without her consent if she is prepubescent. Why is this allowed?
Even if this marriage is supposed to have a clear interest for her, this does not mean she is ready to be married. If she is forced to be married when she doesn’t want to, then she will be trapped in an extremely miserable, depressing, and ungrateful life.
Is there any way she can get out of a marriage she does not want to be in so soon? Please answer.
Answer 7
Question 8
I’m a devout Muslim woman. The environment where I live contains a great deal of temptations. I hope that Allah blesses me with a righteous husband, but I feel that I don’t deserve that. My desire for marriage drove me to sign on a social networking site, so a man reached out to me and asked to meet in a public place. Is this permissible?
Answer 8
Question 9
I am an MBA graduate but am not currently working. Despite my parents' efforts, I have not been able to get married. I was engaged in 2013, but the engagement ended in 2014. My mother and I have done many wazifahs for this purpose. Can you suggest any specific duas to recite for marriage?
Answer 9
Question 10
Assalamu alaykum,
Muslims are expected to take the means to assess whether someone is suitable for marriage and in that limited interaction make what seems like the biggest commitment or contract in our life. In an arranged marriage setting, this usually means meeting the person 3 or 4 times, asking some basic and hypothetical questions, and then making a decision on suitability. How much can one know about a person from meeting them 3 or 4 times? How should one make full use of that limited interaction to assess suitability?
Answer 10