Question 1
My parents forced me into a marriage with my first cousin, even though I didn’t want it. I tried explaining many times why I didn’t want to marry him, but they emotionally manipulated me, threatening that I would remain single. Eventually, I gave in and married him, even though we didn’t get along and didn’t understand each other. To make matters worse, he lived in the US while I lived in another country, and we had no connection for nearly two years.
Now, I’ve decided to look for another partner, and while my parents agreed, they are being toxic about it, pressuring me to accept the first proposal I get.
Answer 1
Question 2
I have a friend who is going through a very difficult time in her marriage. She was forced by her family to marry a man who does not give her the respect she deserves. I understand that in Islam, a wife should fulfill her husband's needs, but if the husband is not respecting her and is only using her for his own pleasure, it becomes a different matter. My friend cries every day because of the physical and mental torture she endures from her husband. She does not feel love for him, and when she tells him she does not want to be touched, he insists and forces her into a sexual relationship. She is sinking deeper into depression and feels unable to speak to anyone about this. She has asked me if there is any dua to prevent her husband from touching her, and while I believe there is no such specific dua, I feel deeply for her, which is why I am seeking help from a mufti for guidance.
Answer 2
Question 3
(Refer to 2655 and 2707) What I meant by force is exactly what one imagines when this word is used anywhere. Obviously, she did not independently consent to the marriage, as she clearly REFUSED it. Her father, a very stubborn person, became furious and threatened to kill her if she did not obey him. Under these circumstances, what is she supposed to do? My question (2655) is not just personal, but represents the many people involved in similar cases. I want everyone to understand that Islam does not support parents taking advantage of the respect their children have for them by staying silent! They do not have the authority to force their adult child.
Answer 3
Question 4
Assalamualaikum,Can you tell me whether or not forced marriages are accepted in Islam?
Answer 4
Question 5
Five years ago, I was coerced into a forced arranged marriage. I mumbled the words "accept" because I wanted to return to the UK. Since then, I have had no contact with my "wife," and my family now realizes that I am unhappy. After five years, they are ready to bring her over from Pakistan, but I don’t feel I can take her as my wife. I can’t seem to see any qualities in her for a wife, and there are too many cultural differences. She is uneducated, and I am a professional. I neither find her attractive nor see any good qualities. I want a practicing, strong Muslim who will raise good, strong Muslims. I have tried to sincerely ask myself if I could live with her as husband and wife, but realistically, I can’t. I have no common ground with her. Although I am closer to my deen than before, my family is non-practicing. I have had several discussions with my parents about this issue, but they believe it will work because they did the same. I intend to do istikhara. What should I do, and what is the ruling?
Answer 5
Question 6
I am a 26-year-old girl, and when I was 20, I was forced to marry my cousin in Pakistan so that he could come to England. I was not happy with this marriage. At the time of the nikkah (marriage), the molvi only asked me to recite the six kalimas. He didn’t ask for my permission to marry the guy or if I wanted to marry him. I stayed there for two weeks and did not have a physical relationship with my cousin. The purpose of this marriage was solely to help him come to England, and it was clear within the family that we would get a legal divorce once he came here. After returning to the UK, I informed the Home Office that I wasn’t happy with the marriage, and they rejected his visa. Now, it’s been six years, and he still hasn’t gotten the visa. I feel stuck in this situation, and it is causing a lot of stress and negatively impacting my life. Is my nikkah valid, since I was never asked for my permission and never had a physical relationship with him?
Answer 6
Question 7
My situation is similar, as I was forced into marriage and continually said no. On the day of the nikah, I tried to say no but couldn't, and the molana asked me the question three times before I reluctantly gave an answer. I do not see him as my husband and have had no contact with him for five years. I am in love with someone else and want to marry him, but my family is not letting me get a divorce. What should I do?
Answer 7
Question 8
Asalaam Alaikum, I am a 21-year-old female Muslim. I got married in Pakistan to my cousin, whom I was not happy to marry, but I went along with it for the sake of my mother. After marriage, we had many problems, which shouldn't have occurred. I was physically and emotionally broken, and I returned to the UK. I had more problems with my husband, and my heart was broken. I came across another man who understood my situation, and I have become very close to him, alhamdulillah. I have fallen deeply in love with him. I've been married for 2 years and have had no contact with my husband for 7 months. I did try to ask for a khula but wasn't financially stable. I want to marry this man because I do not want to commit sin. Is it possible for me to remarry without divorce from my first husband, with whom I have had no contact or physical relationship for 18 months? Please help, as I do not want to commit sins.
Answer 8
Question 9
As Salam alikum,
I’m being set up for an arranged marriage with a cousin. I am only 19, and I just can’t seem to say yes to the proposal. I think it's because my teen mind is still hoping to meet someone I actually find a bit attractive. This cousin proposing has good qualities, but is much older, and I don’t find him attractive at all—more like a cousin brother. Is it wrong for me to base my decision solely on this? I fear I won’t be able to have a future with kids. He’ll be 40 by the time I’m 23, and I worry he might become less attractive than he already is. Am I being foolish for thinking I might have a chance to find someone else since I am still young? Or would it be wrong to say yes when my mind wonders, even though I would never act upon it?
Please give me some advice, insha’Allah.
Answer 9
Question 10
If the parents have done everything they could for their children, for example, my father has sacrificed a lot for his children, he gave us education. We are 6 sisters and 3 brothers. All my brothers Alhamdulillah are engineers and two elder sisters are married, and two are Alhamdulillah doctors.
My question is that one of my sisters, who is a doctor, is being forced to marry our cousin, who is my father’s nephew. Years ago, the relationship was tied, and my sister had no clue about it; she got to know later when it was made official. After her graduation, my parents, even my brothers and two elder sisters who are married, are forcing her to marry the cousin. All these years, she was highly depressed over it and would cry in sajood. Meanwhile, our parents and elder siblings have told us that we should marry whoever our parents want us to because they’ve sacrificed a lot for us, and that our father gave us an education in a society where girls aren’t supposed to get out and study. And in our society, we do not marry out of the caste. So we have no option. We have to marry our cousins. It doesn’t matter if they’re educated or not.
Basically, my question is, are we disobeying our parents or taking their sacrifices for granted if we aren’t willing to marry who they want us to? My sister is really depressed. All these years, she’d cry, but now, when the days have come close, she has agreed to marry because she has been pressured. If she doesn’t get married to whoever her father wants, it would hurt her parents’ feelings, plus she has no choice rather than the cousin because her age will pass by, and no one will marry her because, as I mentioned above, we are not supposed to get married out of our caste according to our society.
Bismillah
Answer 10