Question 1
I would be grateful if you could give some advice regarding raising children while living in a western country. What sort of things should parents do (or not do!) to guide their children to grow up to be dedicated servants of Allah?
Answer 1
Question 2
Dear Sir or Madam,I have a question concerning the religious education of children in Muslim-Christian partnerships.
I know that the dominant opinion among the Muslim community is that these children have to be raised solely as Muslims. As far as I am aware, this is not explicitly stated in the Qur’an, but based on the following assumptions:
Every child is a Muslim at birth. Only the parents and/or its environment make it follow any other religion than Islam. Thus, the inherent and therefore right religion of every child is Islam.
The Qur’an explicitly states how children should be taught about religion, e.g., with regard to learning prayers at a certain age, etc. Because these are general statements, children born to parents who are not both Muslims are no exception either. These rules also exclude the Christian partner from teaching the children about her religion in the same way as the Muslim partner is obliged to do.
A Muslim man can marry a Jewish or Christian wife, but not the other way around. In the male-dominated society at the time of Prophet Muhammad, it was assumed that a Muslim woman might experience difficulties in practicing her religion if married to a non-Muslim husband who would not acknowledge Islam and its Prophet, whereas a Muslim husband would appreciate Judaism and Christianity and thus ensure that his Jewish/Christian wife could continue practicing her religion. However, the husband’s dominance over his family would also imply that children would be brought up in his religion. Thus, the tolerance of a Muslim husband towards his wife practicing her religion would not entail her passing on this religion to the children.
Leaving aside all practical and emotional difficulties arising from this “Islam-only” stance with regard to the education of children for Muslim-Christian marriages, I am aware that there are also Islamic theological positions justifying the teaching of both religions to children (and subsequently allowing them to choose one themselves once they are old enough).
Would you, please, let me know what verses in the Qur’an these are based upon and how their theological reasoning is? I would be grateful if you could go into some detail in this. Also, it would be interesting to know which respected scholars hold this opinion.
Thank you very much for your help.
Answer 2
Question 3
My question involves child upbringing. I just had my second son about a week ago, and my dad and husband have been pressuring me to breastfeed my son. But I breastfed my 2-year-old, and I had a very difficult time. I do not want to do it again. The main reason is that I want to lose weight as soon as possible, and if I breastfeed, I will not be able to diet like I want to. But everyone is trying to make me feel guilty, saying it’s the baby’s right and I’m depriving him of it. I want to have a healthy child, but my main focus is on losing weight. Will I fall into sin if I choose not to breastfeed?
Answer 3
Question 4
I am currently 27 weeks pregnant with my first child, alhamdulillah. My husband doesn’t want to use contraception after the birth of my first child, but I want to delay having my second child as I want to completely focus on my first baby and give him/her a proper Islamic upbringing. Also, I have heard that it gets tough to breastfeed if the mother gets pregnant in between, as hormones make it difficult for her to breastfeed, and I want to breastfeed my baby for two years, insha’Allah. In this case, can I delay my second pregnancy?
Answer 4
Question 5
Which parent has Islam given the right of making the final decision in regards to the tarbiyat (upbringing) of the child? Which parent has the right to decide what the child may eat or not?
Answer 5
Question 6
As salam alaikum,I have a question regarding the toys and clothing of a child which they have outgrown, but were gifts. I have limited space to keep them all and they are no longer used. Can these items, with the child’s permission, be given to charity with them seeking a reward? If they are too young to make that decision, do I have to keep them?
Answer 6
Question 7
What is the best way to bring up children in this day and age?
Answer 7
Question 8
There are parents who allow or insist on their children studying subjects after school that are not compulsory but optional, and which are not appropriate for Muslims. These include subjects like Ballet, Modern dancing, Drama, Band, Piano, Cheerleading, etc. Often they are paying a large amount for these lessons. I am concerned about what the children are learning from this, other than the subject itself. Many believe that children are small, it’s harmless fun, and they will learn the right things when they grow older. What should we say to the parents? Should we say anything? Many feel we should focus on ourselves and our families first, setting a good example for others to follow.
Answer 8
Question 9
My son is six years old and is non-verbal autistic. I know that the pen is lifted for him as he doesn’t fully understand all of his actions – but that doesn’t make it any easier for us as he can become very aggressive, hurt his siblings, and yell at them constantly, even our little baby who is only a newborn.
How can we take care of all of our children without infringing on any of their rights? We are scared to discipline our autistic son too much as we don’t know what is allowed Islamically. We also don’t want our other children to fear him and resent him as we want them to love and protect him and take care of him when we are gone. He is so sweet and loving when not violent.
Answer 9
Question 10
A husband doesn’t greet his wife when he gets back home and leaves her in charge of raising their children. What is the ruling of Sharia on such a husband?
Answer 10