Question 1
I came across an answer regarding the necessity of informing one's first wife about entering into a second marriage, and I am seeking clarification. The Shaykh stated that a man is not obligated to tell his first wife about his second marriage. I find this idea concerning for the following reasons:
1. If marriage is meant to be transparent with the presence of witnesses to avoid deception, then why should the first wife not be informed? How can the community know about the second marriage but the first wife, who is directly impacted, remain unaware?
2. How can the first wife or second wife know if their rights in a polygamous marriage are being upheld if they are unaware of the second marriage?
3. If the husband does not inform his first wife, he will eventually need to account for his actions, which may lead to dishonesty and deception—an unlawful and troubling situation.
4. Does the first wife not have the right to know, especially considering health risks such as STDs, that her husband is involved with another woman?
5. What about the damage to trust that will inevitably occur when the first wife finds out, leading to feelings of betrayal, even if polygamy is lawful?
Answer 1
Question 2
Is it correct in Islam for a 70-year-old man to marry a 23-year-old woman, and what are the conditions and responsibilities related to polygamy in such a situation?
Answer 2
Question 3
I am the first wife. Before my husband married a second wife, he treated me poorly, and as a result, I lost all affection towards him. However, after his marriage, he became more caring and loving towards me, but I am unable to rekindle my feelings for him. Please guide me.
Answer 3
Question 4
I am in love with a girl from another Muslim ethnicity whom I worked with. Five years ago, I proposed to her to become my second wife, but she rejected me and complained to management whenever I spoke to her. Praise be to God, I didn’t lose my job. I have not spoken to her in the last five years, but now she is inclining toward me. Is this a blessing from Allah, the Almighty?
Answer 4
Question 5
I’ve been married since February and reluctantly agreed to one day and one night per week as my husband’s first wife didn’t know when we actually got married. I am a second wife and don’t have children with my husband, but his first wife has children with him, and they’ve been married a year longer than me. He has always struggled to give me my time and has only fulfilled thirty days since we married last February. He is very honest about trying to give me more time, but his life is very hectic, and his first wife is not accepting our marriage (even though she had previously agreed to it). When it isn’t my day, his first wife insists we don’t speak with one another as they are her days, so I’m not allowed to text or call unless it's an emergency. However, he tries to call me each day if he is out of the house. My husband cares about her well-being and giving her rights, while I’m not receiving my emotional rights or enough time. He wants to keep her happy since she is “sacrificing” by accepting polygamy, but it’s putting a strain on our marriage. How can I make him understand that he must be fair and not let her control our marriage? I need my missed days made up and we both want to increase our time together to two nights per week, but she is threatening to divorce him, and understandably, he doesn’t want to displease Allah. He is confused. I’m happy for him to bring his kids sometimes from his first marriage, but her kids are her responsibility, not mine. Your help and wisdom would be greatly appreciated.
Answer 5
Question 6
I am my husband’s second wife, and our marriage has been undercover for over three years now. When we got married, my husband assured me he would tell his first wife and family within three years, but only a few months later, he told me he could never tell her because he fears losing his children. During this time, I thought things might change, but they haven’t. He spends almost no time with me, maybe an hour every 6-8 weeks, and he doesn’t even talk to me on the phone. When I complain, he says I’m pressuring him, so I try not to say anything. If I’m upset, he says I’m feeling sorry for myself.
If I had known things would be like this, with our marriage being kept a secret, I wouldn’t have married him. I don’t know how to explain my relationship to my family or to the world. I’ve tried talking to him, but he just tells me to look for another man to marry. I don’t think he understands how much this hurts me. He has all the rights as my husband, but he has taken away the rights Allah has given me as his wife. I can’t talk to anyone because I’m not allowed to share this with anyone. I feel I am being unjustly treated and misled. Is it wrong of me to feel this way? I would appreciate any advice.
Answer 6
Question 7
Can he marry a second wife when he has no job? He thinks that getting a second wife could solve some of our problems. He keeps bringing up the hadith about a man who was poor and was advised by the Prophet (Peace & Blessings of Allah upon him) to marry, which eventually led to success.
Answer 7
Question 8
Before we got married, my husband made it clear that he is prone to polygamy. I understand this is his right from Allah, however, I would like to know what my rights are concerning the situation. Right now, we have a son who is a year and a half, and we are expecting another baby insha Allah in December. At the moment, we are struggling with at least $10,000 in debt, and there are some basic needs that we sometimes have to do without because we cannot afford them. I understand that everyone’s sustenance is written, and I never complain about our situation, but I was wondering if it is allowed to take multiple wives when you can barely afford one. Also, if it is possible, could you please tell me by what means is he allowed to seek this wife… conversations, meetings, etc?
Answer 8
Question 9
Salam. I pray you can help me. I have been married for 17 years and have 4 children. I am a professional, and our marriage was not arranged but based on love for one another. Last week my husband asked if he could have a second wife. I understand it is permissible in Islam. However, I can’t accept this. This has since caused a lot of hurt and anger. My husband says it's ok, but I am not convinced. How can we move forward? I am so hurt by the suggestion, and I can't believe he has asked me this. The children have seen us argue and feel my pain. Please advise me.
Answer 9
Question 10
Assalamualaikum,
I am the second wife of my husband, and we got married three years ago. At the time of marriage, my husband told me that he had given divorce to his first wife, but on the fourth day of our marriage, he told me that he had not divorced her yet and that he would file for divorce when he went to America. However, the reality is that he had already signed the divorce papers before we got married, according to Pakistani law. I saw the divorce paper, in which he pronounced Talaq three times to her, with his signature and two witnesses. But my husband now says that although he signed the papers, he never sent them to his first wife. He took a fatwa from Saudi Arabia, and the mufti there told him that the divorce was not valid, and he could live with his first wife. After marrying me, he filed for divorce in America, but the case is still unresolved, and he reconciled with his first wife. In America, the laws are very strict, and he never declared our marriage, and he is always forcing me not to tell anyone that I am his wife. I want to know if the Talaq is valid in this situation since my husband signed the divorce papers but didn’t send them to his first wife. I am really disturbed by this situation.
Answer 10